Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Body Magic or is it a Miracle?

Everybody now knows I am on this QUEST to lose weight, right? Right! It is a battle of the bulge and most days I feel like I am losing the freakin' WAR!!! I mean, I'm working out, eating right and staying the course...but most days it seems to be an insurmountable task!! But not today....today I am on top of the world! I feel like the QUEEN OF SHEBA and all the world is my domain! Why all the bliss? Did I actually lose at least a pound? Quite the contrary...as a matter of fact, I actually gained 1.2 pounds, but that's another story for another day!!!

I am ecstatic because of this little garment I tried on and fell in love with! It is the BODY MAGIC by ARDYSS!!! Do not be fooled by impostors, imitators, frauds and pseudo garments...they are NOT all alike...trust me, I've tried my fair share! I am so in love with this, I wanted to sleep in it last night, but there's also another reason for that....later.

Now, I know I am going on and on about this thing...and you are probably wondering why all the fuss? If you have never attempted to put one of these things on....you are in for a treat!

A friend of mine told me about this Network Marketing meeting that she wanted me to attend with her. At first I told her absolutely NOT! I hate those things! People all excited about the money SOMEBODY ELSE made, or passing around checks that look suspiciously like a copy of a Quicken check you make yourself on your PC, telling you "you too can be at the Diamond level after only one or two months!!" And most of the products or services are so expensive...nobody I know will buy it, much less join you in duping the rest of the world! PLEASE!! I hate it I tell you...hate it. But, I went anyway, just to support her....ok ok ok, that's a lie...I went because she told me I could model this garment and she PROMISED I would drop 2 sizes INSTANTLY!!!

INSTANTLY???!! Now, people have different ideas about this word. TO ME Instantly means - right this very minute...before I have a chance to blink the change is gon' come! Well, if this was the case, then this was something I had to see. So, I met her at the hotel and signed in. I noticed they took my email, phone number and address....great, I thought, I'll be bombarded with MLM information for the next 10 years! Anyway, I went in and waited for this presentation to start. There were about 10 other people there all waiting as I was so I asked the lady next to me if she knew what this was about. Big mistake! She was A PLANT!!! I'm convinced of it! She proceeded to tell me all about this magical garment that she was wearing and all it had done for her. I was NOT impressed! As she talked I said to myself...they are gonna have to do better than this dizzy broad to reel me in. I am solid on this...I will not join ANOTHER MLM! I don't care what the product is! I just won't do it!

Finally, she stopped talking as the presenters came in..."here we go" I whispered to myself, "time for the show!" They talked for about 10 minutes about the Body Magic and all it had done for them and the people they knew and a few more minutes about the other products the company had to offer and finally they brought out what was expected. The "pitch"! Yada, yada, yada...yeah, yeah, yeah. I tuned them out during this part, because I WILL NOT JOIN ANOTHER MLM! I don't care what the product is! I just won't do it!

The presenter finished and then said they wanted all the models to go upstairs and try on the garment, but first to come up and show everyone the "before" look. I got up and paraded my fat behind in front of all these strangers, but I didn't care. I wanted to see if I truly would drop 2 dress sizes...INSTANTLY! And if so, I wanted them to really take a good look at me now!

There were only three of us taken upstairs and ushered into another room. One girl was a size 6 so I couldn't figure out why she was there....another girl said she was a 14, but she looked like she could have easily been a size 18 or bigger! Nevertheless, we were instructed to strip down to our undies (yes, I was clean and matching!). I was measured and handed a garment and told to turn it inside out and pull it up from the thighs...ok, this should....be.....e...a...s...y! NOT! "I think you gave me the wrong size!" I was out of breath and it wasn't even up over my thighs! "No, keep pulling!"

Finally, I got it up over my thighs and butt...now for the tummy (ok, GUT!)... GRUNT...GROAN ..GRUNT...GROAN...SWEAT....CRY! WTH?! Are you serious? THIS IS THE WRONG SIZE PEOPLE!! Can't you see I am dying over here? "No, keep pulling!" I'm about to take this thing off and throw it out the freakin' window!

One of the ladies came over and helped me get it completely on, but now it needed to be hooked. Let me describe it at this point: It's a one piece garment with suspenders (see video above), but it has about TEN THOUSAND hooks in the front....now, just who is going to get me into and out of this thing everyday? "It will be easier after this first time...it will mold to your body and you will be putting it on faster everyday!" Yeah, ok....if you say so!

The lady says to me, "Ok, now lay down on the bed and let me hook you up." Easy enough. "This should be easy" she says, as she pokes my stomach. "Your pliable and soft!" Now I know that was meant to be a compliment, but I felt like a dang sofa on display! I laid down and she proceeded to start hooking the garment. Now I'm looking down and seeing all of my FAT bulging through this thing and saying to myself..."she'll never be able to do this". She was determined and as she pulled and grabbed and stuffed me into this thing, SHE began to SWEAT!

Now I was feeling bad, but there was nothing I could do about it. She pulled, and I gathered...I was sucking in my breath and she was grunting like a pig!! Just as I was about to give up...the other lady came over and said, "here, let me help!" Now, I am just laying there trying not to cry out in pain because lady #1 has her knee in my side and lady #2 has her elbow in my throat...but they are determined to get me in this thing if it KILLED ONE OF US!

I looked up and both of the other ladies are completely dressed and ready to go back downstairs and model for the group....here I sit, no here I lay, like a stuffed pig getting ready for the slaughter and no closer to being "hooked up" than I was 15 minutes ago!!

WE managed to stuff me into the garment and then she said..."Ok, now get up." What? I thought you guys could just put my clothes on and let the people come up here, 'cause there is NO WAY I can get up! WRONG! Not only did I get up, but once I put my clothes back on, I actually felt pretty good. Then I looked in the mirror....I was astounded! Shocked! Mystified! I looked GREAT!

For those of you that know me...you know I am a pretty confident full figured woman. But, now? Girl, please....tell LL COOL J, I'm ready!!! Somehow, this garment gave me that X factor that we all want...my waist was actually visible, and my boobs? Well lets just say, I could have served after dinner drinks and not spilled a drop! To top it all off; I felt pretty darn good! Once I was done admiring myself, we all went back downstairs to the conference room. We walked in and paraded our stuff in front of those strangers and I did the NAOMI CAMPBELL WALK! I was FIERCE!

I felt so good, I wanted to wear this garment for days upon days! Nights upon nights...I couldn't imagine taking it off! So I didn't! I purchased not only the one I had on, but I did the unthinkable...I joined the MLM business side! I promise you it was well worth the $300. As a matter of fact of the four that I get for joining I sold two of them at retail and made 100% of my money back...so it was FREE!

I can't tell it all here....you have to see it yourself.


  1. What's the name of this thing??? I WANT ONE!

  2. Hello Mad About Pets! Email me and I'll give you all the information you need! You can reach me at joynerconsulting@yahoo.com

  3. Interesting products!! I just wish they sell it worldwide... are they??