Friday, September 18, 2009

Loose those pants and let 'em go!

Of all the advice I would share as I lose the inches and the thing rings loud and clear. As you lose weight/inches...let go of the old clothes! For one, they no longer fit and actually make you look bigger than you really are and for two...if you don't get rid of them...they will get rid of you!

So, I'm looking at myself in the mirror and realizing that I have lost about 40 lbs so far. Woowho! Congrats to me, but then I look in my closet and you know that old saying of "every 10 lbs is a dress size"? LIE! I am only about two dress sizes smaller than before, so I think to myself...some of this stuff still fits. I can still wear this and that; I'm not tossing anything out! Now, the back of my mind and my compassionate side are screaming Salvation Army, Goodwill and donate. But, my first mind is holding on for dear life to the clothes in my closet and the past they represent!

This particular day I have many errands to run and have to get in and of the car many times, so I find a comfortable fitting (or so I thought) pair of black jersey knit gauchos (I know I know - who the heck still wears gauchos?). Black on black still makes you look smaller so I'm good!

First order of business is the Post Office, where I have to ship a huge bookcase to a friend of mine. Getting it in the car wasn't difficult since it only went from the house to the problem. Once I got to the post office....well, that's where the problems began. I pulled up to the door and realized that the close parking spaces were reserved for good. I move on to the next closest one and back in for easy access.

As I jump out of the car, I felt a slight bit of "slippage", but I ignored it and kept moving to the rear to retrieve the bookcase. Now, I told you this was a fairly large bookcase and heavy as well. I needed help. Luckily a tall strong looking guy came along (I figure if they keep popping of these FINE men and I are gonna click!) and offered to help carry one end for me. Whew, this should go smoothly now. WRONG!

As we enter into the post office, there are two sets of automatic doors. Walking to the first set and carrying my end of the bookcase.....there it goes again....slippage! What is slippage? When your pants are beginning to slip out of place! Once again, I ignored it...primarily because my hands were full and I was trying to move quickly, but also because, well I just didn't want to believe what was happening!

I made it through the first set of doors and as we entered....uh-oh, MAJOR SLIPPAGE...I could feel the cool breeze of the day on my lower back (which is actually my upper A$$) and I began to worry. I told myself it was ok, just walk with your knees together and you will make it. Well, that was mistake! I kept walking and just as we entered the second set of doors....SHOOP! Down to the knees they came! I was mortified, but had to keep walking! Now, the guy helping me is not aware of my he kept walking and I really needed to stop and pull up my pants! NOOOOO, he says to me at my hesitation..."keep coming honey, were almost there!" Who the heck is WE??? I'm about to drop this big A$$ bookcase and save my dignity! Too late, I entered in the Post Office and my pants hit the FLOOR!

Now, I had to stop and stop I did...right in the doorway. I put the bookcase down and pulled up my pants as quickly as I could!

I would love to tell you that this was one of those days when the P.O. wasn't crowded or at least no one was looking my way. That would be too much like...right! I believe everybody in town AND their Grandmama was in the P.O. that day and they all had nothing better to do than to turn around and stare! The guy helping me was so embarrassed; he dropped his end and just let me slide it over to the wall as quickly as I could.

I gathered my pride AND my pants and stood in line to complete my transaction. Once it was my turn, the postal worker, who was clearly trying not to laugh, looks at my package and states..."Sorry Hun, that's just too big to ship USPS - You may want to go Brown (UPS)!" I just looked at her and wanted to absolutely die! I turned to go and she called to the back..."There’s a lady out here that needs HELP!" I distinctly heard much laughter coming from the back!

Needless to say, I went home and immediately packed up my too big clothes and shipped them off to Goodwill!

1 comment:

  1. Love the new blog. Keep up the writing. This looks great!

    - e